Freddy vs Jason vs Ash: The Fan Rewrite
by Marco Incognito
Summary: a fanfic adaptation of a Comic that was itself an adaptation of an unmade Script for a sequel to Freddy vs Jason. It will differ in some ways from the original. Freddy Krueger has returned and he is using Jason to search for the Necronomicon ex Mortis. unknown to anyone even him, Legendary hero and S-mart employee and Ash Williams has once again been brought into events.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** The Following is a fan work based on a comic based on a script for a proposed Freddy vs Jason sequel that was never made. The reason for this is because I wish to form a type of crossover fictional universe and chose to do something for the Halloween season and it so happened to be Friday the 13th. This story will differ from the Comic and will perhaps include other characters.

Ash Williams and elements of the Evil Dead franchise are owned by Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell.

The _Nightmare on Elm Street_ and _Friday the 13th_ franchises are owned by New Line Cinema.

 **Begin**  
The morning sun rose above the mountains and peaked through the trees to hit the snow covered ground.

 _This here place is Crystal Lake. the local yokels have taken to calling it "Forest Green" as if changing the name will erase the things that happened.  
_  
 _Take it from me, there's nothing you can do can take away the nightmares once you've lived through them. Nevertheless, they did their best to hide it with new roads, lakeside condos and even a new warehouse sized Super Mega Ultra S-Mart._

A Large Department store sits quiet,empty and dark as if abandoned.S-Mart is on the side and a large letter S over the entrance.

 _But getting a good deal on your housewares won't cover up the blood that's been spilt here._

Somewhere else is a wooden yellow sign. there is a red line along the inside the words "WELCOME TO" appear in blue arching over the bigger words that spell out in red CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE. Below it is a drawing with a green and red frame showing a beautiful lake and a clear blue sky with birds flying overhead and a waterfall. Under it is written: EST.1935.

 _see Crystal Lake is the birthplace of an evil so foul, it even fives the Deadites a run for their money._

A Snow covered green street sign that reads ELM ST.

 _And right down the street, the worst nightmare imaginable was dreamed up._

 _Jason Voorhees:Unstoppable,Unkillable and Unsanitary_

 _And Freddy Krueger: Child Murderer,Dream monster and forced to spend eternity wearing Bing Crosby's old Christmas sweater._

 _like a nice place except for the nightmare kid killer and the mutant camp slasher down the street_

 _So much for the proper values in Freakville huh?_

 _You'd think most people would be smart enough to stay away..._

A Silver car drove along a snow covered road.

"Come On, Will."

Two teenagers sit within the car.

"You haven't said two words to me in the last still love me right?"

 _I mean what kind of freaking idiots keep coming back to a cabin in the woods when they know a bunch of possessed horrors are waiting to swallow their souls?  
_  
 _...never mind.  
_  
"I'm course I love you Laurie. I just think this is a really bad idea."

Lori looked out the car window to a man in ragged clothes, a burly mustache and a hat. On a sign there was red graffiti of a Hockey Mask with the eyes painted in.

Will:We survived. Coming Back here just feels wrong.

Lori: I can't turn my back on this. Something inside me keeps telling me that Freddy and Jason aren't dead.

She saw the man stare at her.

Laurie: I have to know,Will. I have to make sure they're gone for good.

The car came to a stop

Will:This is it. Sure had changed since...

the two stepped out of the car.

Will:Let's get this over with quickly. I want to be on the road again before nightfall.

Lori hugged him and he returned it.

Lori:I know you think I'm crazy but this is something I have to do. Something WE have to was our bond that kept us alive through it all, and that bond has made us even stronger since.

Will sighed.

Will:All right. Let's look around.

He let go and Lori began to move away slowly towards the woods. Will went to the car to open the trunk. Inside it were several weapons, the most prominent was a shotgun. Lori found something re don the bark of a nearby tree. She touched it with her gloved hand.

Lori:Is that blood?

It seemed to be as it came off in her glove.

Lori:Jason?

The sound of huge feet stomping in the snow caused her to turn around sharply. She took off running back to the car and found it abandoned,the trunk still open.

Lori:oh god...Will!?

She hadn't gone that far. She hadn't heard a struggle or a spotted a trail on the gourd as if something had been dragged and she followed trail went uphill and into what seemed to be an abandoned building. Lori ran to it.

Lori:No! WILL!

At a broken window is where the trail was blood along the sill. She felt it and shouted within, fearing the worst.

Lori:Where are you Will?!

She crawled inside, regretting having not taken a weapon, once she was inside. A faint sound could be heard.

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ah-Ah-Ah"  
"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ah-Ah-Ah"

Lori:WIILLLL!

He was hanging from the top floor's wooden frame. His spine was ripped out and his stomach had been ripped open, guts falling out onto the floor in a large pile.

Tears welled up in Lori's eyes.

Lori:This can't be. We survived. We beat Freddy and Jason.

She fell to her knees and brought her hands to her knees.

Lori:oh Will...

"CH-CH-CH-AH-AH-AH"

She had failed dot notice it at first but then she slowly broth her head up to looked to her right. First there were the ragged clothes and she brought her head up to see him. Jason Voorhees.

He stood there for a moment and then began to bring his machete up. Lori screamed and brought her hand up as if to protect her face.

Lori:No!

She took off running. The machete stroke the ground and became embedded in the wood, giving Lori enough time to run, at least until she saw Will's shotgun on the ground, and chose to fight. she turned to face Jason. the machete was pulled out of the ground and a good chunk of the floor along with it. Like a sword she held the shotgun out in front of her.

Lori:Come on you Bastard!

 _Then it hits you.  
_  
 _The only reason this could be is because you were "chosen" to survive.  
_  
 _You were "chosen" to free the rabble from the terrors of the monster of the week._

Lori fired several shots. They hitJason and he staggered back. One shot missed Jason's head and hit the wooden pillar next to it. The girl chose to run away.

 _You were "chosen" to be the hero and save the day.  
_  
Lori ran up a flight of stairs and Jason walked slowly after her. She found herself doors had been barred. this had been planned, it was a plan to trap her. She had been expected, intentionally lured into the house. It explained why Will had been dragged into the house and not just killed on the spot. Jason's mask appeared at the top of the stairs. Lori's shotgun clicked and she threw it aside. Her hand reached for something on her hip. It was a circular buzzsaw.

Lori: I actually felt sorry for you. What Freddy did to those sadistic kids and irresponsible camp counselors did to you.

Jason rose up and raised his bloodied Machete over his head.

Lori:But you just keep killing!

She was losing it and screaming at the undead killer at the top of her lungs.

Lori:YOU JUST KEEP TAKING AND TAKING!

She charged and swung the Saw. Jason had already lost fingers to freddy during their battle but this time the saw cut into the hand holding the machete and the severed limb fell to the ground with the weapon attached.

Lori:WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH JASON!?

The next movement of the buzz saw went to Jason's stomach and in a sadistic imitation,ripped it open, causing the killer's black guts to fall to the floor. There was strange tar like blood that followed it.

Lori:WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH YOU SON OF A BITCH!?

Jason swung his fist at a swift speed but Lori ducked under it and brought the Buzz saw down on Jason's head. The killer moved forward and the saw cut down their back. Black fluid poured out and the top half of the undead fiend's spine was exposed.

 _And with all the faceless schmoes out there counting on you to do what "chosen ones" do. You start to believe it.  
_  
Lori took off running towards the stairs going up. Jason's remaining hand reached towards small metal construction beams. It was small enough and thin enough to function as a makeshift spear and he grabbed it and hurled it at Lori, who turned to face the undead killer. the beam pierced through her shoulder, pinning her to the wall. She screamed in pain, having been impaled. With great force and while in agony she pulled herself her shoulder, the pain unbearable. She panted, losing her breath. Jason was still slow and there was an opening where she crawled down to the first floor.

 _Once you've stared down death and cheated the Grim Reaper your life changes.  
_  
Lori tripped, cursing to herself for doing so, that is until she saw the blood she had fallen on. to her right was will's body, still strung up. She lifted herself form the floor. Fear i her voice yet determination as well.

Lori:Will...I'm gonna kill them Will.

 _Do it more than once while you watch everyone you know get turned inside out like bloody sock puppets and you start going down a very dangerous path.  
_  
Lori turned around. Jason was walking up the stairs.

Lori: I'm going to make them both pay!

 _You think "Why me?"  
_  
 _"Why was I special?  
Why was I spared and no one else?"  
_  
Lori lifted her Shotgun and fired. Jason was hit in the chest and fell back, crashing through a window behind him.

 _Maybe you can do it. "Why not?"  
_  
 _Maybe you are that special one that has the "Please screw up my life with this destiny-has-picked you-to be-a-hero gene" and this is just part of fate's master plan for you.  
_  
Lori grabbed her buzzsaw and marched down the stairs.

Lori:finish it. Have to Finish it before he can kill again.

She leaned against the wall. The Buzzsaw in her left hand and her right hand twisting the knob slowly and and scared.

Lori: We survived. It was our Destiny. Oh god..Will.

And then a Machete pierced through the wood and went through her head. She stood there in shock and then the blade was retracted back through the flesh of the head and through the wood. The body fell to the floor with a harsh thud.

 _Or Not.  
_  
The Door creaked open and there stood Jason.

 _Sorry, Kid.  
_  
The buzzsaw laid on the floor, stained in dark red blood.

 _You were a trouper, but there's only one chosen one, and for better or worse, it's me. God knows I've spent enough time trying to talk people out of believing in me._

Jason walked by the corpse and grabbed the body by the hair with his remaining hand, pulling it away into the shadows.

 _But in the end you can't outrun fate, plain and simple.  
_  
Jason brought the body into a dark room where nothing could be seen within and hurled the body forward into a pile of others in various stages of decay. the room was briefly lit form the outside light. The horrified faces of the victims at the moment of death could be seen as well as the wall and floors stained with blood and flies circling. the door was shut closed and the remains returned to being concealed in darkness.

His work done the silent killer left the Home and walked out into the white snow which was stained black by drops of his blood. Finally, he collapsed into the snow, flaring with a crunch. He looked up and watched the snow fall gently and the pure white sky. everything fell silent, not a single living should around him. If he could, he began to feel as though he could fall asleep. there was silence and the sound of a music box seemed to play, soothing him, and then he heard the soft voice of his mother whispering his voice.

...Jason.

His eyes opened sharply.

And then the gloved hand of Freddy Kreuger rose from the snow and pulled him under.

Cut to:

A Hockey mask hung from the wall of a department store. The view zoomed out. A female voice boomed over the speaker.

" from housewares. Register five."

Nothing. The view continued to zoom out.

"come on .We need a Price check here."

Still nothing and view kept zooming away for the mask.

"Price check. Somebody get me a f***king Price check!"

Nothing. Still zooming out.

"IS THERE ANYONE IN HOUSEWARES!"

Her voice cackled on the speaker. Finally, the zoom out moved between two figures: a teen in a blue S mart shirt and name tag talking to an older man with a bird and flannel. He held a smiling figure of a snowman with three snowballs making up it's body.

"I don't want a Snowman with three balls. I Don't want a snowman with four snowballs. I want a snowman with two balls!"

"I understand, sir but this is the housewares department, not seasonal. You need to go to aisle 2 to get a snowman with balls."

Nearby another employee pulled the beard off his coworker dressed as Santa Claus. He directed his friend's attention to a blonde female employee reading the book _Castles on Screen._ The Santa clad employee held a large cane cane to his groin.

"Hey Caroline! Wanna suck on my candy cane?

His friend seemed to be backing him up.

"She's checks out your north pole man. HaHa!"

The other employee came by and pulled the Candy cane down.

"Put it away Raoul."

Caroline: It's all right Davey. I can handle this jolly little elf.

She addressed Raoul.

Caroline: If you want me to play with your candy cane then I should warn you I like it rough.

Raoul:Damn girl!

He said stretching out the "Damn" and elevating the pitch as if imitating a rapper. He then held up the candy cane.

Raoul: You broke my candy, Bitch.

CUT TO:  
The bodies of Will and Lori are dragged across the snow, staining it with blood and towards a cabin with an open door, illuminated from within by candlelight. Jason entered and brought them before a shrine, atop of which sat a severed head, belonging to an elderly woman with grey hair and a rotting face, resting on a curled grey knit sweater wrapped around it like a blanket around a Christmas tree. It was surrounded by candles. Jason brought the two bodies to a corner and placed them among others. The camera cut to the severed head of the older women, that of Pamela Voorhees and then pans to the right to show another severed head beside it in a grotesque close up. The expression on the other head is angry, it's mouth and eyes hanging open in a permanent expression of rage. The other face was that of Freddy Krueger.

Jason turned to face the shrine. It was empty, devoid of heads. Only the blanket remained. Jason's expression did not change but i the air was a faint "HaHaHaHa". The undead killer stumbled towards the area where the light was the brightest. The intensity of the room's illumination seemed to growing. there was a door there where there had not been one. So intense where the light from the candles now that they obscured what was held within the entrance. Jason walked through and found the world blurred in light and shapes around him moving as if they weren't solid, like they were blinking in and out of existence. If the killer could make the mental connection it would remind him of if you sped up a video of a busy city street and saw lines of composed light moving extremely fast. the world Jason was in right now would have reminded him of that expect that it was blurred and appeared to be made of wood. Once ehe exited the doorway he was in a familiar place.

A group of children were attacking someone, chanting "Freak! Freak! Freak! over and over again as they did so.

He passed by and ignored two adults, one with the word camp counselor on the back of his shirt, one male and one female. The male's bare ass was exposed and he was thrusting his groin on the female, who pulled don his shirt with her right hand and wth the left grabbed his neck. Her legs were up in the air and almost kneeling. She was loudly shouting a series words and noises incoherently.

"Yeah, baby, oh yeah, uhnn-oh-oh-uhhh!

Jason walked away. His back and exposed bone of his spine and muscle tissue had turned from black to red and now bled like a fresh wound. A couple of kids ran to taunt the "freak" and as they did so passed, a house that was shaking, threatening to come off it's own foundation and rocking back and forth. A closer look made it seem as though the house was built in such a way that it was at angle, and as it moved it swayed from left to right. Sounds could be heard within but mostly feminine moans of pleasure from the rocking house.

"oh, yeah,yeah,AAAOOO! Give it to me baby! Give it to me!"

Jason seemed to speed up, walking quickly to the rocking house and with great force, slammed the door open. There a only one bed, a black frame and a single decrepit white mattress on top of the mattress was a green and red striped blanket. There was a deep grumbled voice on a man that was thrusting himself on a woman. He let out a yell.

"AAAAHHH!"

I'm riding you like a two dollar bus to screwville, Bitch!

The outside light created a thin light in the dark room. The two on the the bed stopped, as did the creaking of the bed. The man on top raised his burned head and turn it to the right slightly. His face obscured by darkness except for his eye and part of his his scarred and burned face. He spoke in a deep tone and unique voice to the newcomer.

Hey there Sonny Boy. Can't we get a little privacy?

Freddy Krueger pulled up the covers, which wrapped around him to form his old red and green Christmas sweater. He sat up at an angle as if posing and leaned on the frame alongside an older woman covering herself with the sheets. He brought his burned left hand to his head and let the razor edged glove on his left hand rest on his knee. A pair of pants hanged on the bed frame.

Freddy: That's no way to treat your new daddy, is it Pammy Dear?

He looked over to the old woman, her hair was short but practically completely white, her face aged. She remained covered. Freddy reached behind his back and returned his hand with a cigarette. He raised his gloved hand in front of his face and made a "thumbs up". His thumb caught fire and he sued it to light his cigarette.

"Jason, my baby boy. You need a daddy. He'll make sure no one picks on you anymore when I'm gone. Besides this is all in your head, dear. All in that peanut sized rotted meat you call a brain. But there is a way to help get Freddy out of your empty noggin and give you what you've always wanted. What you've always coveted my dear. To be a normal little boy."

Jason said nothing. He only stood there appearing somewhat bored.

"You need to go back to our old house and find a very special book. It's buried deep in the cellar. I used it to bring you back Jason."

Freddy let out a large cloud of smoke, speaking through the cloud and his own rotted teeth. His voice was not his own but was instead that of a man Jason did not yet know. Ash Williams.

Ash:Necromonicon Ex Mortis.

The book sat on a table in a dark room somewhere. A face bounded on the cover. the voice could still be heard. The Camera pans upward and at an angle, hovering over the book.

Ash: The book of the dead.

The book opened itself and flipped through its own pages with illustrations to be being drawn quickly onto the page in glorious stop motion. strange symbols began to appear within.

Ash:Bound in human flesh, and inked in Blood.

The image of a skull in red appeared on a page.

Ash:This ancient sumerian text contained bizarre burial rites, Funerary incantations' dn Demon resurrection passages.

The illustration of demon faces appeared within as well as one that appeared to have his back to the reader. After speeding up it abruptly shut itself with a loud noise, returning once more to the face of the corpse that was its cover.

Ash:It was never meant for the world of the living.

We cut to a car driving along a snow covered road at night. Snow is coming down.

Ash:That's where I come in. Course I had no idea at this point that two legendary murders were in my immediate future. Hell...I had no idea the Necronomicon was using its supernatural influence to draw me into all this mess.

"The name's Ash, Housewares Domestic Engineer, Detroit S-Mart."

"And I'm the Chosen One."

In the snow covered car, peeking through the opening in the snow made by the windshield wipers, was man man with a firm chin and combed black hair. He wore a blue collared shirt and over it a black jacket. He grabbed a paper on the dashboard and inspected it while driving.

Ash: It wasn't always this way. I had a real life once. A long time ago in an S-mart far, far away.

But all that is ancient History, just like the Romans and their pyramids.

The Car entered into a motel parking lot and came to a stop.

Ash: I've got only two things left in life that matter to me. Cutting any dumbass Deadites that get in my way into handy buyable bits...

Ash stepped out of his car and slammed the door shut. As he walked away towards the motel, unknown and unseen to him was a decaying figure in a Hockey mask that seemed to be watching him from behind two snow covered pine trees.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Chapter 2

Ash stepped out his car, slamming the door and making his way through the snow covered ground of the S mart parking lot towards the giant "S" at the front of the building. He carried with him a US Army bag and a guitar case. Ash's narration returned.

 _Crystal Lake. Home to the new Super Ultra Mega S-Mart warehouse store. "Shop Smart; Shop S-Mart," right?_

 _Yeah,right._

 _And now it's also home to yours truly, The Suits sent me here to clean up the Housewares Department. I'm here for another calling._

 _Employee of the Month again, sure. I'm a shoo-in. Name one other retail clerk that can take down a possessed shopper with a can opener and a tin of car wax._

Ash approached a group of wore jeans. One had long brown hair, a black jacket and a blue shirt. Another wore a grey coat and hard black hair with a pink shirt. The final one had red curly hair, a black jacket and a green shirt.

Ash:Hello, Ladies. Name's Ash but you can call me "Anytime."

He walked by them.

Lady1:OMG! I think he was staring right at your chest, Paris.

Lady2: Oh, Baby Doll, You got a Sugar Granddaddy just waiting for you.

Ash felt this feet bump into something and turned to face wha took dot him like the very model of the stuck up boss. He wore a white shirt, combed back black hair with a few black strands of hair falling forward. He had on glasses and a plaid vest.

"Ahem. Mr. Ashley . I presume?

Ash: Yeah, that's me. You fellas ordered up a pro, right? I'm your ma-

"Apparently they don't value punctuality at the Detroit store, but we here at Super Ultra S-Mart are held to a higher standard."

He pointed to his watch.

"We've already wasted seven minutes out here on the consumer tarmac. Let's get inside and straighten out the housewares department.

He directed Ash into the store.

"We've only got twelve days until the rededication of this community as Forest Green. In that time we have to get through the holiday rush and the return season. No easy task for a rookie crew, that's where you come in."

The three girls who had passed Ash lake among themselves, walking by a figure that seemed to be waiting.

"Please, like i'd ride discount Elvis back there. He's so 20th century."

Jason stared, his eyes as if he was falling asleep.

"Tee-Hee-Hee. Look at me such ripe breasts, such a round ass."

The three women turned to look at him in the place where he was hiding surrounded by trees. When they turned to face him they all had the face of Freddy Krueger.

"I know I'm just a whore waiting to screw the next camp counselor in tight 70's shorts."

"I'll ride anyone but Jason that little faggot would rather F**k a pig than a girl."

Jason didn't respond.

"Uh-oh...Think we struck a nerve girls...

Jason began to march forward towards the oblivious girls. He approached one of them and swung his machete, slicing her clean in half.

"PARIS!"

Jason reached out with both his hands and grabbed both of their throats as they screamed and brought their heads together, smashing both of them into puddles of blood and brains. He realized his hands and the bodies fell, revealing another girl some distance away standing there in shock.

Ash and the Manager stood before a group of workers in blue shirts and one dressed as Santa Claus.

"All right, people-This is Ash Williams. He's the new sheriff in Housewares-What he says goes."

He then addressed Ash.

"This is the Housewares crew-Raoul, Jarvis, Dave and Caroline."

There was a scream.

Williams perked his head up

"SECURITY!"

He dropped his guitar case and took off running. The Manager shouted after him.

"Williams!"

Ash found a terrified girl, out of breath in front of the store. he put a hand on her shoulder.

Ash:What's wrong?! What Happened?!

She tried to speak but instead pointed at a dark spot in the woods. she finally got the word out. At that time police cars entered the lot, sirens blaring.

"Jason"

Ash: Cops...Great.

The next thing he knew he was being slammed into the hood of a police car. The Manager was speaking nervously to an overweight Officer with a bushy beard.

"No, officer, Mr. Williams was standing next to me in the Housewares Department when this occurred. I can Unequivocally confirm that he is innocent so please of the last time, could you let him go?"

Ash was uncuffed, he grabbed his head in pain as he was spoken to.

Officer: All right, Punk. I know your type. " Pants" from the big city. Well we ain't in "Mayburry" here, boy. I'll be watchin' you. Keep your nose clean or I'll be back to clean it for you.

Ash:Yeah, maybe you oughtta worry about cleaning your own nose, Major Bush Lip.

He walked back to the S-Mart. The officer spoke the S-Mart manager

Officer: You watch that one. He's got a history of showing up right when things start to go to Hell. Awful convenient if you ask me.

Ash walked up to a Pyramid of products stacked together, visibly still mad and taking out his frustration on his work.

Ash:Who the Hell put this pyramid together!?

He grabbed one of the boxes and began moving them around.

Ash:Stupid kids, don't know a waffle iron stack from a water pick mountain. Amateurs.

"What was all the commotion about out there?"

Ash talked to the girl.

Ash:It's bad news, sweet cheeks. The old bag kept muttering under her breath and I'm pretty certain there was fresh blood that officer portly completely missed.

He noticed there was a group of employees surrounding him and turned to face them.

Ash: Seems like the devil done come to town and he's looking for some souls to steal. Listen up. You kids think you've got everything figured out don'cha? Skip school. Do a little grabass, and hangout smoking whatever under the bleachers after work, right? Well I got news for you. The world is a cesspool full crap you never want to look in the eye. There are things your testicle sized brains can't even comprehend.

A shadow seemed to be cast on his face.

Ash: Things like the Deadites. Ancient Kandarian Demons that want to turn you inside out and wear your flesh like a full body condom. You wouldn't believe the places I've gone, Screwed up monsters I've seen and things I've had to dismember. That's why I came here to Super Ultra Mega Craptown in Crystal Lake, to get the Damned Necronomicon Ex Mortis, and finish off the Deadites once and for all.

Raoul, the employee dressed as Santa Claus was the first to insult him.

Raoul: Yo, pops you are seriously effed in the head. Why don't you take your bullshit stories and stick em up your ass with what's left of your dignity.

His friends joined in.

"Yeah, man. Hey we got a sale this week in the book department. Maybe you can get the "book of the demented" on price slashin special."

Ash walked away.

Ash:Laugh while you can kid. cause the Deadites idea of a joke is killing all your friends while you stand by and watch it happen. I'm taking a break.

He sat down casually, raising his legs up to him. Carrie walked up to him.

Carrie: They don't mean anything by it, you know? It's just their way of dealing with stuff here.

Ash: . Look. Carrie, right? I've seen this happen before. In the end there's a whole lot of blood and a bunch of heartache.

Carrie: Is all that true? You know, about Demons and Damned books?

Ash: I wish it wasn't, babe but it is.

Her hand went over Ash's metallic one.

I've been fighting these blighted spirits for years. Ever since a fateful summer in 1981. Those bastards killed my friends. I went back there six years later with a girlfriend of mine, hoping to put the whole thing to rest. Instead the damn things got her and I had to bury another body. Then they decided to make me their own personal stress doll.

Carrie:And what...what happened to you hand?

Ash:More Deadite tricks. They got into my hand and it went bad. I had to lop it off at the wrist. Used the Necronomicon to send "em" away but ended up getting sucked back into the past with them. I made this contraption in the Middle Ages.

He held up the metal arm.

Ash: I could've been king, but that wasn't where I belonged. So I said the magic words, drank the juice, and ended up back here. Well first I ended up in some post apocalyptic version of earth but after that I ended up back here. But it didn't end there. The Deadites followed me back and I've been trying to finish them off ever since. That's the life of the "chosen one" I guess. Still think I wasn't chosen for anything but to be fate's red-headed stepchild.

Carrie: God it all seems so impossible and crazy. But with the Jason Voorhees crap around here, I guess we've had our share of demons.

Ash:Jason...That's what the old bag in the parking lot kept yapping about. I've heard about him.

Carrie:Jason Voorhees was a boy who drowned at camp Crystal Lake back in the 50's, But Jason came back from the grave to take his revenge on the camp counselors who caused his death.

Ash:Right...undead kid comes back to off slacker camp punks. that's got deadeye written all over it, Baby. And where there are Deadites the Necronomicon can't be far behind.

Carrie: They saw he's a big guy with a Hockey Mask and using a machete to kill anyone that gets in his way. Over the past thirty years there have been countless killings said to be by him or copycats. There even was a kille ring Manhattan they thought might have been Jason. But its been quiet since the high school killings five years back. I was still in Middle School, But I remember hearing about Jason killing a bunch of kids in Springwood.

Ash sighed.

Ash: All right, You can put away the Beaver scout cookies, I'm sold. Let's get up to the Voorhees house and find that book...WHAT THE HELL?

A figure in a Hocket Mask and a hockey puck with red liquid on it ran towards him him, releasing a battle cry

Ash:Down!

Ash pushed Carried to the floor and bent back his head, watching as the Hockey stick nearly avoided his head. He was proud of his Matric like movement. He recovered quickly.

Ash: Hey,Hockey Putz...You wanna Dance, huh?! All right, Let's Dance! Yeehaa!

He kicked the figure to the ground. Another employee tried to stop Ash.

Ash:What're you doin?! Stop it, You'll kill him! It's Raoul! It was a joke! Man! Get offa him!

The guy in th hockey mask let out a cry for Help.

Ash turned to face the employee at his back.

Ash:What!? A Joke?! You stop ass-clowns could have ended up dead.

Raoul: Get this freak offa me!

He was helped up.

"Psycho Loser! Jason ain't real dumbass! He died years ago, if he was ever a real person and just some boogeyman dreamed up by sick screws."

Raoul took the mask off.

Raoul:Let's get out of here.

The Manager was coming onto the scene.

Manager: What's all the commotion? I got customers saying it sounds like someone's getting killed in here.

Carrie was leaving with the others.

Carrie: See ya around Ash.

The Manager began taking notes.

Manager:Hockey Mask and stick$ 34 dollars. Quicksmart Toaster oven $42 dollars

Ash:Yeah yeah, pencil neck night manager with a clipboard and wagedocking slip? Priceless.

CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE  
A trail of blue was cut through the snow to a cabin. The upper half of a girl hung on a wall with her body strung up. A camera pans across and reaches Jason's head. The voice of Freddy speaks to him.

"All right, you had your fun with the bubblegum bitches. Now you have to do a favor for daddy."

In a memory Freddy was wearing glasses and sitting on an armchair with a young deformed Jason in his lap. He was reading a book that appeared to be the Necronomicon.

Freddy: Go get the Necronomicon and we'll have a little "Father and son" story time. you know, just you and me.

The young Jason smiled a simpleton's smile. He looked a the book and turned the pages. He was now visibly younger, a deformed baby playing with thing she barely understood.

Freddy: Come now, you can't read it yourself, you know. Unless...you were to get the real book and let me make you smart, but until then, sit your retarded cancerous noggin down here and let me read to you. I call this little tale, t'was the nightmare beyond Elm Street. It's a real Holiday killer.

Jason snapped out of his memory. he looked at the two heads on the shrine. The one of his mother Pamela and his father Freddy. He turned and existed the cabin.

"CH-CH-CH-AH-AH-AH"

The undead killer continued walking past a planted sign that said "DANGER: DO NOT ENTER" and then heard something.

"You ready? Let's try it again from the top."

A man in a suit was attempting to conduct a group of carolers made up of two men in suits and two women in red dress bottoms with white tops and red bonnets. One of the men looked similar to Santa Claus with a bushy white curly beard and a twirled white mustache.

"I want this to be perfect. That means no screeching on the high notes, Shelly, and no dropping into flats, Keith."Ready, one and a two and a..."

The metal bar of the sign pierced through his mouth and he fell forward, dead, his body impale don the upward steel girder. Jason then grabbed the metal bar and pulled it upward, out of the corpse and swung it horizontally, decapitating all the carolers. The severed head fell to the floor.

MEANWHILE AT S-MART  
A muscular brown bearded lumberjack used a chainsaw to cut through a piece of firewood. Several girls were admiring him. Among them was Ash.

Ash: Whoaaa...chain Lightning? That's a cut above the rest.

"Hey, were you a beaver scout, baby? Cause you look like you're ready for anything."

She spoke while licking a lollipop, intentionally seductively.

" You just gonna stand there or you gonna show me your Big saw? I'm taking a little "camping" trip and I need some supplies. I already packed my G-strings and other goodies, can you help me fill my box with your wares?"

Ash:Well, I'm not really an outdoor supplies specialist, but I do know my way around a cabin. That ought to do it.

He said finishing putting everything in a cart.

Ash: Everything you need for a cozy night in the wild.

He pushed the cart while the girl put her arm around his.

"Oh, baby, it's so much stuff and I don't have any cash on me. I guess I'll have to skip the trip until I can pay for all this stuff."

Ash:You know, it's just about the end of my shift anyway. How about I take care of this with my, ahem, "executive employee discount," and I can help you set up all this stuff?

He scanned his card.

"Yeah baby. That sounds just Groovy."

He began packing them in a red car.

Ash: Nice car, Bree, Say where are we heading for this little expedition?

Ash opened the door to the red car. There was another girl and two guys inside. One of them answered his question.

"We" are going to spend the night in the Voorhees house before they tear it down. "You" are gonna take your Jurassic ass back in the store and beat off to dreams of what I'll be tapping tonight.

The car drove off with the man giving the middle finger out the window.

"Later,Bitch-boy! Hahahahaha!"

He looked at the leaving car and walked to his car.

Ash:Stick that silver spoon up your ass frat boy...man, I hate punk kids. Looks like it's just you and me, again. Quart of Oil and a six pack should do it, eh?

The red sports car arrived at Jason's old home.

"ewww...Voorhees casa Central."

Four figures stepped out.

"I can't believe you worked that fossil into buying all that equipment for us. You didn't even have to swallow the tadpole. That guy must have been desperate.

Bree: That's right, when you've got tits like mine you only have to tease-boys'll do just about anything if they think they might get a taste.

The four settled in quickly. A boy and a girl situated themselves on a couch and began to kiss passionately while removing their shirts.

"Come "ere, Becka, forget about tadpoles, I wanna see if you can swallow a big mouth bass."

Becka: Furious, you're so crude. 'Sides I've seen your "Bass" already and it's more like a guppy.

Bree and the other guy went off.

Bree: Let's find someplace quiet before he starts yelling.

"Gonna make you scream for that one, whore."

Becka: Well I'm gonna make you weep bastard.

They kissed.

Jason appeared in the window in front of the two on the couch.

"CH-CH-CH-AH-AH-Ah"

"uh-uh-uhn! Come on, Baby, Come on!"

Ash was arriving in his car.

Ash:Great...Just Great. the floozy and her friends are here. Let's get this over with.

Carrie was also arriving in her car.

Carrie: What are you doing out here by yourself, Ash? you're going to get yourself killed and I'll never get out of this Going-nowhere-Burg.

Ash stepped out and made his way to the cellar. He kicked it open while holding a lamp in one hand.

Ash:uhhn...Necronomicon 101. It's always in the fruit cellar. God damned Book.

He walked through the creaking steps and slowly down. Upstairs a naked couple was on the couch. A figure creaked by them, holding a bloody machete.

Ash: Sure, sure it's okay. Ash is own here with the spiders and the ornamental skeletal critters while they're up there having an orgy. Yeah, life's real fair. Stay in school, kids. You too could end up successful like me.

Jason walked up to the bodies on the couch and pulled the girl off the man.

"What the Fu..!?

"Furious help me!"

She was ripped in half by Jason with his bare hands. Jason grabbed the man's head with both hands and squished. The head was inhumanely squeezed and pools of blood burst out the eyes and mouth like a fountain.

In the cellar Ash was still looking.

Ash: Come one. Where the hell is...

He spotted a hole in the ground.

Ash:Aha! got a talking book made out of flesh? No problem-just bury it in the earthen floor of the fruit cellar. Classic.

Bree was having sex with someone on the approached the two, appearing in a mirror in front of them. He raised his machete. Bree saw him and screamed.

Ash pulled the Necronomicon out of the hole.

Ash:Gotcha!

A Machete blade pierced through the ceiling next to Ash's head.

Ash:Criminy!

He ran to the stairs and reached into his bag to pull out his shotgun.

Ash:Bree!

He found the body of a skewered man.

Ash:Looks like you were the one getting nailed, Pal.

He ran to find the bodies of the other two teens.

Ash:Bree? Bree, Where are you?!

He ran to the door.

Ash:ah, Crap.

He was tackled by Bree and the tell fell over. She was wearing a towel around her body. Both of them let out short screams before stopping upon realizing who each other was. they fell to the ground with Ash on her.

Bree:Dead...All Dead...He killed them all.

Ash kissed her.

Ash:Yeah I saw. But we're not.

He turned to his left and saw Jason walked around the corner. Bree screamed and Ash stood up in a second, the book tucked under his elbow.

Ash:Come on!

Bree: Oh god, He's back!

Ash:Get to the car!

He moved his head just momentarily to avoid a swing from Jason that cut through the wall.

Ash raised his broomstick

Ash:Eat this!

He fired, hitting the undead killer in the chest and propelling him backwards onto the couch, which fell back.

Ash and Bree ran to his car and got in. Ash began trying to get the car to start.

Ash:Come On!

"Klik Klik Klik Klik

Ash:No, No, No, Not Now! Come on you piece of shit. Start! We have to get out of here!

Jason emerged from the house. Bree screamed. The undead killer began walking forward. His heart was exposed on the side where Ash had shot him.

"CH-CH-CH-HA-HA-HA"

Ash:Start, Damn it, Start!

 **To be Continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

"Big Boy there isn't just a pissed-off trick or treater a couple months later for halloween. My guess is he's a Deadite manifestation determined not to let yours truly get his metal mitt on the book of the Dead again."

Ash tried starting the car again. there was only the repeating "click-click-clickkkkk"

Ash:Start! Come on, start!

"This goon already sliced his way through a bunch of sex crazed punks and now wants the book over my dead body." Well, slap shot the slasher here is going to find out two things about Ashley today."

"The first is, I need a new car. Damned starter."

Jason hurled his machete. it crashed through her window. Ash raised his mechanical hand and caught the weapon in the air. Metal sparked as it scraped along metal and came to halt just at the tip of his nose.

Ash:Whoa!

"And B, I don't die easily. At least so far...

Bree was screaming and panicking.

Bree: He's gonna kills us! He's gonna kill us just like he did them! He's gonna kill us!

Ash:Bree! Bree! get down!

Jason raised his arms to slam down on the car. Ash tackled Bree out of her side of the car. They fell onto the snow and then took off running as Jason smashed and destroyed the car's hood.

"CH-CH-CH-AH-AH-AH"

Ash slipped on ice and dropped the Necronomicon into the thick snow. He did not land on the ground and instead fell on his knees. He was still holding the Machete and as befell he landed on his elbow, the Machete stopped a few inches away from his face. He turned around to land o his back, seeing Jason standing in front of him. Ash backed away. He head a car coming and turned to see a car heading towards him and got down to the ground, grabbing his head as the car passed over him. The car hit Jason and sent him flying over it, landing on the snow next to Ash. The car returned and drove next to Ash, who was still on the floor. The car door was opened, revealing carrie, who held her hand out form the driver's seat.

Carrie: Hurry! get in!

Ash: Carrie?

He got into the car's seat of the grey minivan.

Ash: How'd you know I was here.

Carrie: I followed you. I knew you'd go after the book and something told me you'd need me.

Ash: You could have gotten killed like those kids back there. But you've got guts, baby. i'll give you tha-Look Out!

The car nearly hit Bree, who ran into the road in front of the car. Th car came to a stop and Ash stepped out. She was terrified and shivering in the snow.

Bree: uhnn...dead...All Dead...Dead...

Ash guided her into the car.

Ash: Come on, Bree. Get in the car. That monster is still out there.

The car drove away.

Ash: All right, we've got two problems that need solving and we can't do either out here. Let's get our asses back to S-mart so we can find a way to get rid of these Deadite monsters once and for all. Should be something I can burn the book with.

The scene cuts to an angry shouting of Freddy.

Freddy: No,No,No, Noooooo! It's so simple even a brain dead retard could do it! what the hell's your excuse?

Freddy put his hands behind his back and and paced around the classroom. A lone boy sat a tone of the empty desks. There was a green billboard behind him with " " written on it and a hangman sketch with the words NEC_ _N O M_CON.

Freddy scratched one of his clawed fingers along the chalkboards cutting the green surface across. There was a new drawing on the surface now. A cartoonish drawing of a young Jason with a big head. a "+" sign, a sketch of the Necronomicon, a "=" sign and a sketch of a smiling Freddy, the sketch despite being simple still appearing creepy.

Freddy: Today's Lesson is called "quit screwing around and get me the goddamned Book."

Freddy tapped his clawed glove blade on Jason's head.

Freddy: Hello, McFag, you in there? Hell-oooo? the porch light is on but no freaks are home.

The young Jason was sobbing.

"uhh-huh-uhn..."

The blade sliced downward through his head, opening it in cried throughout the whole process.

freddy: Oh...what am I gonna do? No one's answering the door. Guess I'll have to just let myself in and look around.

Freddy used his hands to open the gap in the the flesh and reach his clawed into the hole.

Freddy: hmmm...Lots of room in here. I could put in a hot tub. say...what's this little gem?

Freddy pulled out form the opening a blood soaked ID card. He read it.

Freddy: Ash William, S-Mart Clerk. Well, if wage has my book, I guess we'll just have to go to this S-Mart and put in a special order. Now go get my f**king Book and kill everyone that gets in your way!

 **Elsewhere...  
**  
In the snow was a green Volkswagen. A trio of voices could be heard.

"come on, Davy-boy. Wha's your problem, man? It's just a joint."

"Man, dis is a bad idea, Holmes,Davy, Here's a Narc man."

"I'm not a Narc, Ass."

"I just don't like the idea of not being in control of my faculties."

"Whatever, Wally White Bread. No wonder Caroline thinks you're playing for the other team. Jus leaves more for me an' my boy, Jarv."

There was a screech outside and the door of the van was forced open by Ash.

"Caroline? What the Hell is going on?

Carrie and Ash helped Bree into the store. They walked and talked as they entered the store

Carrie: Dave it's Jason. He's real and after us.

Dave:Jason? Jason Voorhees?

The other man spotted Bree in a towel.

"Whoa. Hey there baby, looking' for some action? You come to da right place.

Ash stepped in, holding the book in one hand. He pointed to the group with his metal hand.

Ash: Back off, Cassa-numb nuts. Can't you see the girl's in shock? She just saw her friends get butchered-something tells me she isn't interested in your Pencil dick right now.

He turned to the girls. Caroline was helping Bree warm up and then get dressed

"What the hell, old man? You want a piece of me, tough guy? I'll take your geriatric housewares ass apart and leave your body on the curbside."

" !"

Ash once again turned to the two idiots.

Ash:Look. Punks. there are Deadites here, and one with a Hockey mask that shredded three high school assclowns like you with a steak knife.

He held up the bloodied machete and the two backed away in fear.

Ash:This Steak knife. So why don't put your blue ball testosterone bullshit away and make yourselves useful?cause that things in the woods is still out there and it's coming to turn you into jock tartar sauce.

This was broken by Carrie stepping in between the group.

Carrie:Shut up! Just shut up, All of You! Quit waving your dicks around-we're not impressed. We need to work together if we want to survive.

Dave: Whatever, Bitch you and senior-discount-days are out of your freaking minds.

He walked away.

Dave: Come on, Jarvis, there's some chicks in the lingerie department that want some hot young dicks waved around.

Bree had changed into a green shirt and blue pants. Ash headed into the store, looking for something through the aisles.

Ash: I need a damn lighter. Sooner I burn this book the better.

Carrie ran up next to him.

Carrie: Will that kill Jason.

Ash: Pretty sure he's a Deadite. First time I burned the Necronomicon it killed all the Deadites, well almost, one got to me till I fought it off.

Carrie:First time?!

Ash: When I back into the past I found three. I thought it was like a pick the right one sorta thing but turns out all three had some kind of power. I've burned two books so this must be the last one.

Carrie stopped and stared at something. Ash looked at her.

Ash:Carrie? what's wrong? what are you...

He turned and his face lit up in shock.

Jason had just walked into the store. He was standing at the entrance. Several customers were staring at him. His heart and guts were exposed still. His head was down but he slowly lifted it up. He spotted them and began to walk forward.

"CH-CH-CH-AH-AH-AH"

Ash: Shit he's faster I thought.

He walked forward to Ash and Carrie. A fat woman in a blue coat with red hair stood in his way and she began to move away. With his remaining hand Jason swung like he was giving a stiff backhand. It knocked the woman's head off her shoulders and a geyser of bright red blood gushed out of the stump. People screamed and Jason continued as if undeterred. People began running. One old gentleman was not so lucky. He grabbed a shopping cart with his one hand and raised it, slamming it down on an old man with such speed and strength and the body was reduced to what looked like meat from a grinde, practically oozing out of the hole sin the cart. He grabbed another woman by the throat, lifted her up and impaled her on a rack. A foot stepped out onto the same aisle as Jason.

"Excuse me!"

Jason turned to face him.

Ash: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave this store!"

Ash had his chainsaw strapped to his back. His shotgun was in his hand. Carrie was beside him. He handed her the Necronomicon.

Carrie: Get this out of here. Find a way to burn it.

Carrie: You can't beat him!

Ash:Sure I can. I'm the chosen one.

He revved up his chainsaw.

Ash: Yo, Wayne Deadski! Hockey fan, huh? you know they say a slap shot travels over a hundred miles an hour. But I find that buckshot goes a hell of a lot faster than that!

Jason grabbed a shopping cart with his hand and hurled it . Ash fired and hit the cart. It was sent out of his grip, except for several bent bars in his hand. the cart slammed into a wall. Ash leaped onto a cart that began to move toward Jason. He opened fire several times. The shots hit Jason and caused his body to jolt. Jason staggered and then swung his arm. Ash leaped out of the cart and leaped backwards through the air, landing behind the undead killer as the cart was destroyed. Jason turned and swung but Ash ducked and withdrew his Chainsaw. He tried to swung but only scratched jason but then he charged forward and stabbed the killer through the chest. Jason grabbed the handle of the Machete. He pulled upwards, pulling the chainsaw out of his body.

Ash: Whoa there big fella...No need to do anything.

He grabbed the chainsaw with his hand and began to spin around while holding on. He let out a yell and let go, being sent flying towards a wall. His head poked through the wall and he became stuck. Jason looked around for the book.

Carrie ran away with the Necronomicon. Her manager ran to her side.

Manager:Caroline! get the shoppers out of the store and call the police!

Carrie: I need to burn this book.

Manager:...That book has a face on it.

Carrie: yeah so?

Manager:...I'll get the shoppers out of here and call the police.

He turned to run only to be met face to face with Jason. The Manager screamed as Jason sliced his head in half with Ash's chainsaw. Blood splattered on Carrie's eyes, blinding her. Carrie saw Bree and shouted.

Carrie: Bree!

She threw it and Bree caught. Jason turned to her. the killer raised his hands to the girl who took of running. Carrie stabbed Jason in the arm with his own Machete. The girl grabbed his arm but Jason swung. She was holding on but she was sent flying into an aisle. She survived unlike the others. Jason reached into his arm and pulled out his machete. Bree was running away towards the exit with the book. She smiled as she almost made it, but then Jason's machete burst out of her chest and she fell to the ground dead. Jason walked over and picked up the Necronomicon which had been stabbed by the Machete, the weapon still attached to it. He carried the book out of the store passed the bodies of his victims.

Carrie was helped up by some of her friends.

"Holy shit, Man! He killed 'em all! Jason-Freaking Voorhees!"

"Carrie are you alright? Christ that thing almost killed you!

Carrie:Yeah...I think I'm okay. Where's Bree? Jason was after the book.

She ran to the front and found Bree lying face down. She then looked around and saw Ash's fee sticking out of the wall. Her and her friends ran to him and began trying to pull him out.

"damn, face first through a wall?"

Carrie:Quick, let's get him out of there.

Ash:uhh, probably get docked for that too.

After being pulled out the two guys helped carry him away.

Ash:We've got to...uhn...find someplace to regroup. Then I'm going back to the Voorhees home.

Carrie: Are you crazy?! You almost got killed?

Ash: That damn books gotta get burned.

Carrie: Fine, but I'm going with you. My parents are out of town. We can use my place.

We cut to Jason's head standing in total darkness. there is a zoom in to his eye and we see the face of Freddy. He is surrounded by darkness until fire is conjured up around him.

Freddy felt himself be stabbed by his own gloved claw in the stomach. He saw his own daughter betray him. As she leaned in and told him "Happy Father's day before kissing him lightly and running off. freddy looked down to see a pipe bomb impaled into him.

"...Kids."

There was an explosion and he found himself in a world of fire. A bright red landscape. He knew where he was. He roared in agony as he felt himself burn up. then the flame died down and he heard a voice. Even the deep voice sounds like that of an angel.

"FREDDY KREUGER!"

"YOUR DEMON'S HAVE ABANDONED YOU!"

Freddy panted heavily and struggled to breathe.

Freddy: My demons made me the stuff of Nightmares! Another Demon showed me a way to escape my world into another one through some big screen movie! What do you got!

"I INTEND TO RETIRE FROM MY ROLE! I HAVE CHOSEN YOU AS A SUCCESSOR!"

Freddy: And Why the Hell would I care!?

"I WAS NOT ASKING! SUCH AN HONOR IS A PLEASURE...AND A TORTURE."

Freddy: Just who the Hell do you think you are!?

The voice finally revealed himself as a white figure garbed in black leather with several needles all over his head.

Pinhead: I AM PAIN!  
 **  
Camp Crystal Lake  
** Jason approached the shrine with two heads and placed the book upright. He turned the Freddy head towards the open book.

 **Jason's Mind.**

Freddy held the book in his ungloved hand. His gloved hand was scratching his chin.

Freddy: Damn things' in some Ancient language. How the hell did Pam ever read this? Good thing its got pictures. that pointy headed guy only taught me to read some of this crap. Deadites, Time Vortexes, Blah, Blah, Blah..Ah here we go.

Resurrection passages and..what's this? Waking nightmares? Sounds right up my alley. Damn nothing in here on how to get me out of your head, just for sommonin' the Pinhead. Oh! gotta say the words first, make it safe to read.

He held the book up and spoke.

Freddy:Klattu! Verata! Nikto!

There was a bright blue light that engulfed the room, seemingly destroying the shrine. Jason stood and stared. the bright light faded and there stood Pinhead.

PINHEAD:"WELLLL DOOONNNE!"

He held out his arm.

Pinhead: You shell return to flesh.

A series of hook suddenly shot out at latched onto Jason's body. They pierced his flesh in several part and began to violently tear Jason's body to pieces, destroying his clothes in a series of cuts. The Blood soaked the floor. Jason's hockey mask. The form of something began to assemble itself, appearing as a skinless bleeding mass of red flesh. The body stood up and raise this hand, all in all, the figure did not look too different from his normal appearance.

Freddy: I'm baaaack! Hahahaha! And offing Jason too while I'm at it!

Pinhead:HE IS NOT DEAD! HE SHALL RETURN FROM THE BLOOD OF THOSE HE'S SLAUGHTERED! THE BLOOD OF HIS VICTIMS SOAKS THE WOOD OF THIS PLACE!

Freddy:Ah hell. Still a win.

Freddy looked down at the mask.

Freddy: Well, thanks for everything, kiddo. Kind of makes up for ripping my arms off and beating me with them before. Kind of. Have fun hacking up campers and virgins when you get back. Kill a few for me. Talk about a one trick pony. Ah well, can't all have have artistic flair like yours truly...huh?

Jason's body was starting to regenerate quickly from the fresh blood around him. It had grown a bleeding squishy hand that reached for the Necronomicon. Freddy swiped it away before the hand reached it. He held it up and a smiled formed, showing his yellow teeth.

Freddy:So...Brainless boy remembers the bargain, eh? Well, a deal's a deal I suppose. Come ere, let's see if a few words from the book can breathe life into those dead-head brain cell of yours.

He held up the book and opened it.

Pinhead: I CAN SHOW YOU!

Freddy: I guess they were right about print being dead.

That night there was a bright blue flash emerging from the cabin followed by spontaneous lighting striking all over the place.

 **Elsewhere**  
The moon was large over the night sky over a normal looking house by the edge of the woods.

"All right, Let's go over this again. Jason Voorhees is some kind of Deadite Vengeance Demon."

Ash spoke to the teens while he threw a log into the fire.

Ash: He drowned because of slacking teens at a summer camp and came back to kill anyone that gets in his way...

He turned to dress the four other teens.

Ash: So why would he want the Necronomicon? According to the legend this guy doesn't have enough brain power to read "Sam I yam." much less the book of the dead.

The phrasing seems amor like he was making a statement rather than asking a question.

Carrie: There had to be someone or something else behind Jason's determination to get the book.

Ash: My thought exactly.

Raoul"Yeah, man. A puppet Master using Jason like his own strung up Bitch.

"So we got to cut the strings, right? that way we can take "I'm down."

Ash:right. So we need to get that book back. It has Voodoo-Hoodoo in it that will send Jason to the deadeye's dimension. He can spend the rest of his days fighting it out with those half-dead halfwits. Serves i'm right.

He paused and saw down on an armchair and leaned back, a shotgun going across his lap.

Ash:Now get some rest. in the morning we'll go back to the Voorhees house and get the book.

The others began to take sleeping positions on the couch, seats and floor.

Ash:I'll just stay...awake and keep...

He yawned.

Ash:Watch until...dawn...

He closed his eyes.

Ash woke up in the chair and looked down.

Ash:huh...wha?

He yawned.

Ash:Musta dozed off...I...

He stopped, his eyes moving towards the hand going over his face. He looked at. His hand.

Ash: What the Hell? My Hand...?

He flexed his fingers and smiled.

Ash:How'd...heh...I'm whole again. Like before the cabin in the woods. Before the Deadites ruined...

His hand became bloody s if it was being cut down to the flesh.

Ash:ARRRGH!

The hand transformed into a clawed glove. He grabbed the wrist with the other hand.

Ash:My Hand!

He fell to the ground, onto his knees and looke dup to the sky. He shouted.

Ash: You Bastards! You took my hand again!

Somewhere in a dark voice. Freddy was laughing.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. Chapter 4

_Knew it was too good to be true._

Ash was struggling to hold back his own hand.

 _The deadites got into my right hand and it went bad years ago. So I lopped it off at the Wrist._

 _It was kind of a modern day "Farewell to Arms." Never read it myself. but the title says it all._

 _That was the beginning of the time as the chosen one._

Ash slammed aside the door of the cabin and exited.

 _This little scene is just the latest deadeye kick in the balls. When stuff like this happens to you regularly, you learn real quick to wear a cap every day. Hazard of the job and all._

Ash: uhhnn..Gotts get to the tool shed.

Ash slammed through the door and found the toolshed and began to look around.

Ash:Come on! Where is it?!

He spotted the wall of tools. There was a distinctive outline of where the chainsaw would be but no chainsaw. Ash paused for a moment and the the door burst open, in burst an obese man in a brown apron, wearing a stitched mask of flesh and Wielding a Chainsaw, screaming like a mad man. Ash's eyes widened. He turned to face the wall of tools again and found that all the tools were gone, and he took off running from the Chainsaw wielding maniac. He realized he was trapped as the chainsaw wielding maniac came towards him. Suddenly a metal see through door slammed down, severing the arms of the man, which still held the chainsaw, causing it to fall to the floor with the dismembered limb still attached. The chainsaw wielding man screamed. Ash was confused and still shocked. He look around and found he was no longer in the shack. He was in some king of glass box with metal sides. He was still struggling with his hand. Thinking quickly he reached for the chainsaw with his free hand, grabbed it's handled. Ash fell to the ground to stead himself. The clawed hand still struggled as he grabbed the Chainsaw, and severed his own hand. Blood splattered on his face and he screamed.

Once the deed was done he fell back onto the metal of the square room, exhausted, grabbing his stump.

Ash:Yeah...Bad hand...that's been done before. Freaking Deadites got no imagination. Handled it then, can handle it now.

Ash was hit with a realization.

Ash: Wait a bloody minute...this already happened to me back at the cabin. How's it happening again?

He did not notice but a drop of blood fell from his nose had the laughing face of Freddy Kreuger within in. It fell into a pull of blood onto the floor.

Ash:What the Hell?!

The Blood on the floor showed the reflection of Freddy Krueger, all of which began speaking to him.

Freddy: What's the matter, Ash? Having a little deja vu?

Another Freddy spoke.

Freddy:If the bloody trip down memory lane with you and your right hand got you all weepy-eyed for those quiet special nights, just wait'll you see this one...

One of the reflections of Freddy emerged from the blood. there was now a tiny Freddy and shortly after several others began to emerge from the blood.

"or two...or three...Come on, boys. Let's boogie!"

Ash was grabbing his wounded stump and sitting on the wall.

Ash: No. Not you little bastards again.

The Freddy's spoke with tiny voices. Ash began to step on the tiny Freddy's, who ran towards him and tried to crawl onto his body towards his face.

"Welcome to our Nightmare"

"One,Two, Little Freddies for you."

"Three,Four,Better watch the Floor."

"Five, six, gonna gut you quick."

Ash used his hand to smash the Freddy's. One of them crawled onto his neck and he crushed it with his head, where it became a splash of blood on his shirt.

"Seven, eight, never gonna wake"

The blood on the floor began to assemble and rise up to form a shape. The shape go Freddy Krueger.

Freddy: Nine, ten, Freddy's whole again.

Freddy struck a pose, raising his hands dramatically.

Freddy:Ahhh...that's better. It's good to finally be out of that hillbilly Jason's freakish skull. I mean really, there are only so many times one can stand dueling banjos and screwing-your-mother fantasies before even a bastard like me loses it.

Ash picked himself up.

Ash: Look, I don't know what kind of effed-up Deadite you are or how you brought me back to that cabin, but you save me the hassle of tracking down your flame broiled ass. Hand over the Necronomicon and we can finish this undead dance once and for all.

Freddy: Oh I'm no Deadite. Name's Krueger. Freddy Krueger.

He lifted his hand and the lost hand Ash had severed was raised into the air, floating over Freddy's hand.

Freddy: And this is the dreamscape, my little corner of the world to do with as I please. All the world's my plaything and while you're here, sleeping Beauty, I'm the king.

He straightened up.

Freddy: Now I have a needle headed little problem. See I need blood to bring myself back and turns out being a dream demon has its perks, cause your dream blood worked just fine. I just had to make you bleed more than any real meatbag should. Easy trick for me, I once ate a kid and spat out a geyser. course, being a meat puppet doesn't really work for me so I need you to use the Necronomicon to free me, since I've no idea how to read it myself passed what Pinhead tells me. But first, let's play a little game of pin the claw on the Elvis impersonator, shall we?

The floating claw shifted like a spider ready to pounce. Freddy performed a flawless impersonation.

Freddy: "Thank yew, thank yew very much!"

The floating claw lunged off freddy's own and leaped at Ash. Ash quickly shifted up and fired with his shotgun at the arm. There was a loud boom and the claw was knocked back. It fell to the floor, smoking,twitched and then loosened like a dead Spider. Ash lowered the smoking tip of the gun.

Ash:Yeah, See, I've never been very good at party games. 'cept ones involving pretty chicks and dark closets. So let's try a different game. Something like "truth or die." You said this was a dream right?. I know how this works. If I think hard enough I can make shit happen my way.

He held up the gun.

Ash:Like with my trusty boomstick.

He placed the gun across his right arm, which was missing the hand.

Ash:Or like how my hand stopped bleeding and I haven't passed out yet. Now make with the answers, dead Astaire. Why the hell you put me in a glass cube.

Freddy: Wasn't my idea? I thought it was yours. Sometimes I like twisting a dream someone's already having.

Ash became serious.

Ash:Then where the hell are we?

Freddy slowly turned around, as if looking at the camera. for a while the two stared into darkness. And then they were caught off guard by the visage of a beast, biting with fangs at the two. Upon closer inspection the creature in question appeared to be a massive werewolf. It attacked ravenously. but then seemed to shift, revealing it was in a cube of it's own which moved away from them.

Freddy:down boy.

Ash: You sure ya haven't got a damn clue what's going on?

Behind them on a glass a ghostly hand was placed. Ash turned around slowly and so did Freddy. The mist floated and then took a skeletal face.

Freddy: How's that for Dead air.

Ash: Deadite. you Dumbass.

The cube shifted up and so did the one they were in.

Ash: Well why aren't you trying to kill me?

Freddy: It's no fun when I'm not pulling the strings.

" **I AM THE ONE PULLING THE STRINGS!"**

Ash and Freddy turnedtoface the speaker. A mist filled the area, making it seem as if the wall vanished, From the mist rose the form of Pinhead. Freddy looked away in frustration. There was a silence.

Ash:...who the hell are you?

 _"_ **I...AM...PAIN!"**

Ash:...Hi Pain...Name's Ash.

 **"I KNOW DAMN WELL WHO YOU ARE!"**

Ash: Great now can we get back to killing each other?

 **"What sort of Puppet Master Would I be if I allowed my Puppets to destroy one another."**

Ash: Puppet? Whoa! Whoa! Hey! I ain't your puppet.

He held his good hand out and several hooks appeared suddenly. emerging from his arm. He looked all over his body and found hooks sticking out of him, imitating strings and digging into his flesh.

 **"You look like a Puppet to me"**

Ash tried to speak but he couldn't as some of the hooks were digging into the sides of his mouth, giving him a cartoonish rictus grin and holding his eyelids open.

 _"_ **And you have a part to play"**

Ash's eyes widened as much as they could given the hooks.

 **"I seek to retire from my position among the Cenobites...But I require a worthy successor and that...Is not you."**

Freddy couldn't help but smile behind his clawed glove.

 **" The Nightmare may secede me. I have another purpose for you...Ashley J Williams."**

The Demon turned and gestured out to the glass.

 **"Welcome...to the UNDERTAKING!"**

(Camera pans out to reveal a large area filled with massive cubes).

Ash and Freddy stared outward, not like Ash had a choice. The cube on the immediate left contained a giant crawling Tarantula which circled around in its prison. On the right was a ballet dancer with a horrifying maw where her face should be. Other creatures were placed in various different cubes, including a pair of wolves, a Demonlike creature with outstretched wings sitting on the floor. A massive Snake. A clown who was pointing and laughing at Ash with a white head and red puffed hair and a single red balloon, a large metallic robotic doglike creature that kept slamming in the same wall. A pair of twin girls looking at him. A batlike creature, several zombies compressed together, a massive centipede, and many many others.

Ash woke up screaming.

He quickly inspected himself. There was a burn on his hand but none of the needles had left marks.

Ash: So this Freddy guy can make dream stuff real but this Pain guy can't.

An idea crawled into his head and he stood up with renewed vigor.

Ash: Get up! Everyone get up now!

Caroline yawned.

Caroline:Ash? what happened?

"What the hell man? I was just gettin busy with..."

Caroline was shaking one of her friends.

Caroline: Dave won't wake up!

Ash: Come on, kid! Wake up before it's too late!

Ina strangely bright world several people all wearing white T shirts and blue shorts stood together. Each of them except Dave had exaggerated features, overtly muscular men with small heads, wimpy skinny kids with inhalers, glasses and acne women with large breasts.

"What the" said Dave, confused as to how he was there

All right, boys and girls, time to pick sides. Chet, and Selma, you're the team Captains.

Chet: I'll take fat Willie,Easy Suzie, and Ted the Sp'ed.

Selma: I'll take Betty Blue Balls, Pencil Dick,and Two-Ton Thelma.

Dave: Um...what about me?

Chet and Selma began arguing.

Chet: oh, no! I'm not taking Dickless Dave. You take him for the Dyke Squad.

Selma: No Freakin way! I'm not taking him. You take him!

The coach walked up to both of them.

"Hey Hey, Hey break it up! Neither one of you has to take him."

The coach turned to face Dave him, revealing the face of Freddy Krueger. He held up a Dodgeball, and wore a baseball cap with a large red S.

Freddy: Dickless Davy here thinks he was a shot with perky little Caroline in Chemistry class.

A clawed glove popped out of his hand and scraped against the ball, creating sparks.

Freddy: But that little whore only likes the jocks. What say we see how big your balls are, boy? you up for a little "Dodgeball?"

All students turned to face him and raised the Dodgeballs. Dave took off running.

Dave:You're all crazy! I've gotta get outta here!

Balls were thrown.

He shielded his head while he ran. The Dodgeballs became imbedded in the walls. A dodged ball burst through his chest and his head fell backward with his hands outstretched. In reality he spat blood form his mouth and appeared to be choking.

Caroline:No! Davy!

"What the Hell's going on!

Ash: Krueger's got him in the dream. If we don't get him up now, he ain't coming back.

In the dream Dave was huddling in fetal position with the students surrounding him.

"Come on kid, walk it off."

"man up"

Dave was pleading now. Freddy raised the dodgeball.

Freddy: Balls to the Wall Kids!

He blew into his whistle enough to spit.

Several dodgeballs went flying. Dave got up and tried to run to the door of a gym. He turned as he ran across a blue painted brick wall of the gym. The balls collided. One Dodgeball hit his head and squished it like a tomato, sending blood and eyeballs rest squished his body. In the real world Caroline screamed! as the body of Dave was suddenly flattened. In the dream all that was left was a blue wall soaked in red blood like paste.

Freddy stood in a cabin with Jason at his side.

Freddy:Ahahahaha! That felt good! I'm finally strong enough to get my hands a little dirty! Old pin head never said anything about the kids.

He walked to the other end of the room

Freddy: That ought to shake up the little brats. It seems that have a self proclaimed hero among the sheep. He's on his way here to stop us from using the book.

Freddy turned to face Jason, whose head was down.

Freddy: Now, listen up good, gimpy-here's your part. Take your rotted momma's boy corpse out there and slaughter them when they show up. Take down this Ash Williams first. We can enjoy killing the kids afterward.

Jason's head rose and he began waling towards the entrance.

Freddy:Now get out there and so some killing. I've got some heavy reading to do.

On the winter streets at night van was driving. Snow was hitting the windshield.

Ash: There's nothing you could have done, Caroline. This Freddy Krueger is some kind of demon that kills people while they sleep. If we didn't wake up we'd be dead too. Dave would want us to take these monsters down.

The van drove through police tape to the S-Mart, and parked.

Ash:The cops split hours ago but we still have to be careful. Let's get the gear we need and then we can go after the book.

Ash opened the Mart doors with his keys and the four entered and marched inside.

Ash: Stock up on weapons and explosives. Raoul and Jarvis. take this list and start shopping. Raoul took the list. Carrie and I will grab the rest of the supplies and meet you back here. The faster the better. come on. Chop-chop.

Raoul and Jarvis gathered the supplies, pushing wheelbarrows filled with things.

Raoul: This is so screwed up, man. Dave was a dweeb, but damn. I don't wanna end up like that. Freakin' squashed like a roach.

Jarvis: What choice do we have? Either hacked to pieces by Jason or killed in your sleep by Freddy? We're boned man!

Ash was also carrying supplies.

Caroline: What are we going to do Ash?

Ash:Keep it together, sweet cheeks. We just need to get the book. Once I've got the Necronomicon. We can send both of these dead heads to hell. Just stay with the program. Don't do something movie-chick stupid and we'll be fine.

Sometime later the van arrived at the Voorhees home.

Ash: Next stop, Voorheen central. Let's do this boys and girls.

Raoul dn Jarvis carried the supplies where Ash instructed.

Ash: Let's rig up the explosives over there on the porch. We'll lure tall, dark and undead to this spot and bring the whole house down on him.

He opened and reached into the trunk.

Ash: I'm going to of inside and get the book. As long as we don't fall asleep we shouldn't have to worry about Freddy.

Caroline:Ash? What are you doing?

Ash pulled his chainsaw, which was now silver.

Ash: Upgrading to chain lightning. oh, yeah. This baby can cut through a steel beam-it ought to make quick work of ol' slap shot if he shows up before we get the book.

Ready, he turned back to everyone.

Ash: This is it. Remember-when you see Jason, lead him back here to the explosives. Toss the bait and take cover.

He turned to Caroline.

Ash:Carrie, hide in the van and when an old dead head steps onto the porch, click the remote and blow him to kibbles 'n bits.

He addressed everyone.

Ash: Now, this is the most important part. Don't get killed. I have enough blood on my hands to last a lifetime. I don't need a couple of dipshit kids and another cute girl to die because I couldn't take down the demons quick enough.

Caroline: Ash...be careful.

In the nearby woods, Raoul and Jarvis walked through with flashlights.

Raoul: Man, what the hell was we thinking volunteering for this shit?

Jarvis: don't worry, bro. You an' me gonna take out this prick.

Raoul: He's like the zombies from some horror flick-you know, the slow moving mofos that stop and growl for brains or sumthin' before they rip off the hot chick's shift an' gnaw on her knobs.

Jarvis: Man I'd like to gnaw on Carrie's kno...

The flashlight moved up and caught sight of Jason in between the trees in front of him. They screamed and took off running while shouting in fear.

Jarvis: Plant the bait! Plant the bait!

Raoul dropped a red small bag into the snow, which landed with a thud.

Both ran to the car and hid behind it. Jason walked behind them, seemingly passing the area the two were hiding.

Raoul: Shit. Jarvis, I just pissed myself.

Jarvis:shhh...he's taking the bait.

Jason approached the dropped package, pausing and reaching towards it.

"Ch-Ch-Ch"

Jason stopped and began to look up, their head twisting in curiosity.

"Ah-Ah-Ah"

Jason began to walk towards the house. Caroline from her hiding spot, holding a gun, within inside the car.

Caroline: No. He can't know it's a trap...

Jason turned to look in her direction and she hid.

Caroline:...He can't...

Jason raised his hand and wagged a finger.

With his other hand he pulled out his machete. Caroline nervously looked up to see Jason standing above her, reflecting off the car window.

Inside the house Ash walked cautiously inside.

Ash: All right. Where are you? I know you're in here.

He spotted it. Next to it was a fedora.

Ash: Ah-ha! Necronomicon Excrapus, the book of the shitty dead.

He reached towards it.

Ash: Now let's get those banishment passages and finish this.

Suddenly a clawed gloved hand burst through his should and he screamed in pain. Ash fell to the ground. Freddy Krueger pulled his hand out of his shoulder.

Freddy: Oops...Did I do that? Shame, Shame, Shame, I really need to work on my aim.

Ash turned to look at him.

Ash:Krueger.

Freddy: In the charcoal-burned flesh. Now if you don't mind, please hand over my book. Thanks to you and that bastard Cenobite, I'm finally free of Jason and ready to show these kids what real terror is.

Ash:Wait, how are you here? Did I fall asleep?

Freddy: did I fall asleep? Did I fall asleep? Stop your sniveling, Pussy. Thanks to those deadeye passages I'll have dominion over the waking and the dream worlds. So just hand it over and the children of Elm Streets everywhere will suffer night and day like never before.

Despite his great injury and hole in his shoulder. Ash picked himself up.

Ash: Yeah, keep talking, shredded beef. I'm the chosen one- at least that's what they kept telling me and my business is putting down possessed creeps like you. I'll stop you before you read the book and send your shriveled ass back to hell.

Freddy;Stop me? Stop me? Oh, that's rich. You can't stop me...

He held his hands out.

Freddy: I did it ten minutes ago.

There was a bright light that emerged form him that caused Ash to shield his eyes. Demonic faces appeared around him. Like streams they shot out of him, glowing golden. Outside Jason was confused as the glowing serpents surrounded his body. He turned back to look at the house.

Ash got up and charged his chainsaw.

Ash: Already did it. Dammit I shoulda seen that coming.

Ash opened fire with his boomstick. The shots seem to go through Freddy, as they were embedded in the wall behind him.

Ash:...ah shit...

Several gloved Krueger hands shot out and pinned Ask to the wall.

Krueger: How's that for a hand job. Time for the chosen one to check out.

Of anyone Ash expected to save him. Jason was the last one. The undead corpse burst through the wooden door.

Freddy turned to face him, while keeping Ash pinned.

Freddy: What's this? All I did for you and now you want to pick a fight? What would mommy dearest have to say?

He lifted his glove into the air.

Freddy: Well...I happen to know a few people that have a bone to pick with you. Say hello to all your past Victims Bitch!

Corpselike arms burst out of the wooden floorboards. Jason looked down as they grabbed his legs and tried to pull him under. His legs disappeared as he was engulfed by a swarm of his past victims. They clawed at his mask. With his one free hand he reached towards the laughing form of Freddy Krueger before he was engulfed in hands blending together to shield everything in black.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	5. Chapter 5

Corpses crawled ay Jason's body, a hand caused his mask to partly slip off, displaying a screaming rotted mouth. A body with bleeding eyes hidden behind a blind fold let out a yell as it clawed along with others. Freddy stood over him. His body was transformed into a darker red and pointed ears.

Freddy: Come on, Jason. It's Time to break out the beans and wieners. Cause your old Camp Crystal Lake buddies are just dying to see you again. The bodies with glowing orange eyes surrounded him.

"AAARRR!"

"DIEEEE."

"KILLL YOUUUU!"

Jason fell to the ground and practically crawled forward to his Machete on the floor.

"TAAAKKE YOUUU TOOO HELLLL..."

A gloved hand like Kruefer cage down on his hand, pinning him in place. The Machete was knocked away skidding across the floor to Freddy's feet who picked it up. The dead victims of Jason leaped onto his back.

Freddy: Well, Look here, Crystal Campateers! It appears that my little helper has found a prize.

Jason fought against the victims, who somehow held him in place. Freddy plunged the machete into Jason's chest. Jason tried to grab at it, but the many hands of the campers reached and grabbed the handle, pushing it further in.

Freddy" Oh! This lil' ankle biters are wicked. You just can't turn your back on them-unless you want to end up with the business end of a knife tickling your ribcage from the inside. But I guess you already get the point.

He let out a laugh. Jason's eyes narrowed behind the mask in hatred.

Then he flexed his muscles. The bodies were flung off to him as he pushed them off. Jason's hands reached towards the Machete embedded in him, and pulled it out, the tip was covered in blood. Freddy scowled.

Freddy: Dumb as a stump and strong as an ox. You just don't quit do you? Well Uncle Freddy has to run. Been Nice seeing you all, but I can't stand around all day playing grabass with you. The Necronomicon and I have some...

He looked over. The Necronomicon was gone. Freddy began to look around shouting in anger.

Freddy: My Book?...Where's my...

He noticed something else was missing and let out a roar of anger.

Freddy:WILLIAMS!

Ash was running through the cold forest. Freddy's red face appeared behind him and roared with yellow eyes and flame emerging from his mouth. His teeth were sharpened.

'WHERE"S MY GODDAMNED BOOK?!"

Ash panted as he kept running. Faces like screaming Jack O Lanterns appeared on every tree. Ash stopped.

Ash: "What the-?"

The Tree had blocked his 're now glowing mouths and eyes. Their areas surrounding the Sharp teeth made of Bark and sharpened wood. Their branches shot at Ash and began to wrap around him.

Ash: Deadite possessed trees? Damn it Krueger! Get outta my head and come up with your own ideas!

His arms and legs were forcibly shot outward and straightened and he was lifted.

Ash: oh god. I hope this doesn't go where I think it's going.

Birds with red glowing eyes suddenly swarmed Ash, pecking at his face and neck, drawing blood as they scratched.

Ash: I'm gonna rip that Thriller glove right off you hand and shot it up you're ass! One of the birds scratched his right cheek, leaving three long claw marks. Ash screamed and then clasped his teeth down on the bird's neck. It struggled and then was spat out.

Ash: ARRRRRAAH! Hob yab lipe dat, lab Fuben Buwds! Chipen wins anywom? BWAHAHAHA!

He spat out what he's eaten. It was now spilling like black tar from his mouth.

Ash: Damn, I need a breath mint. Birds taste Deadite Ass.

His cheek was now stained black with paint. The Chainsaw puller was stuck. He struggled a bit.

Ash: Come on, Come on...just a little further...Just a bit more.

The Cord straightened as it became stuck. The Chainsaw roared to life. Ash put his serious face on.

Ash: It's go time.

Ash began to swing his chainsaw, the tendril like branches were cut and spilled out black blood. More so than thy should have realistically held. not that Ash much cared. He clenches his fist as and with a swing removed the cuts. Then with his newly freed hand he grabbed the Chainsaw and swung it down on one of the glowing trees. It let out a roar as he cut into it and black blood shot out as Ash yelled a warrior's yell. The other trees let out rats not of pain but of anger.

Ash: YEAH!

He pulled the chainsaw out. The tree collapsed backward. Ash stood panting. The moment of silence was broken by a bird flying towards him. Ash put his Boomstick on his shoulder and as casually as possible fired behind his back, blowing the black bird to bits.

Ash: Hail to the King baby.

He slowly walked out of the forest, which had now returned to normal.

Ash: That's teach ya...Gotta find the kids and read the passages. not much time before Krueger and Jason come looking for the Necronomicon and...

He found the remains of the two boys, cut to pieces in a pile of blood in the snow. Raoul and Jarvis were their names.

Ash: Aw, no...damn. I told you kids to be careful. Son of a Bitch. I should've been here to save 'em.

He was hoping they would make it. they didn't deserve this. There was no body for Caorline, except for her necklace in the picked it up and looked at it.

Ash: Caroline...

He clenched his fist.

Ash: Just like Linda and Sugar baby. Why can't I just save one of them? Why, Damn it?!

"Ash?"

He looked over and saw Caroline standing there.

Ash: Carrie!?

The two ran up to each other and hugged.

Ash: I thought I lost you too.

Carrie: I...I hid while he did it. I thought Jason was coming for me next. I thought I was going to die, too. Then he just stopped. It was like he heard something and just walked away.

There was the sound of thunder. The two turned and saw the red face of Freddy Krueger emerging from a dark storm cloud in the sky, coming towards them.

Ash: Damn! We've got to get under cover Now! Krueger's coming!

The two ran to the cabin.

Ash: That psycho used the Necronomicon and now he can manipulate more than dreams. I don't know how, but now he's free in our world and he can change reality faster than Her changes Bleached blonde bunny Bimbos. Looks like he still needs us to fear him though. That's how I got out. I've seen all this shit before. Just makes me mad.

He held the book out to Carrie.

Ash: The book has the power to banish Freddy and Jason to the Deadite Dimension. I've seen it first hand. Hell...I've been sucked up and spat out by by it so many times I've got a timeshare in three dimensions. So we find the right passage, say the magic words, and let the book do it's dirty deed. The rift opens, Freddy and Jason get sucked up like a Sunday whore on a blow pop, and they can duke it out with those possessed Deadite bastards for eternity. Let someone besides me deal with their dumb ass antics and pranks. Serves em both right.

Caroline grabbed the book but then the face glowed and it shot out of both their hands.

Ash: Look out!

Caroline: AHHH!

The book landed and began to flip itself through its own pages. It rested on a page showing illustrations, complex sketches of an older woman and recognizable forms of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees.

Caroline: That's Freddy, and Pamela and Jason Voorhees. I remember seeing photos of them in some old news clippings my mom had. Freddy must have seen all this in Jason's head. That must be how he figured out that the book of the dead could be used to bring him back?

One of the illustrations had Pamela hiding the Necronomicon and reading from it.

Caroline: What's she doing with the Necronomicon? Did the old hag use it to bring Jason back?

Ash: Wait a minute, does this mean Jason is some kind of Deadite?

Ash raised his hand and pointed to the book.

Ash: You putrid parchment, you've been bringing these monsters into our world for eons and causing more pain and suffering than all the daytime talk shows combined! Well, you're gonna help us put this right. You got that ink stain?!

The book shut itself and shot out into Caroline's hands.

Ash: All right, you take the book and read the passages. I'll keep Freddy and Jason busy while you use it to send these two back to hell for good. When the time comes you have to say the words "Klaatu Verata Nikto". All the words. Trust me, you have too say every last syllable or it won't work.

A faint "Ch Ch Ch Ha Ha Ha" was heard. Ash and Caroline looked around.

Ash: They're here. Find the pages and sue the book. I'll take out the trash.

Ash revved up his chainsaw

Ash: All right, Krueger. You want the book? and you think you can take it from me? Then Come Get it!

Nothing happened.

Ash: Come on, what are you waiting for? I've taken down creeps ten times worse than you and your little limp-wristed slashed shtick. I've worked retail for ten years. Now that's scary!

He kicked the door. Unexpectedly sunlight came through. He winced in the light and found himself standing outside. It was a beautiful day. He looked around. He was standing on the porch of a large white house with the number 1428. As he was inspecting his surroundings he heard the sound of creepy children singing.

"One, Two, Freddy's coming' for you."  
"Three, Four, Better Lock your Door."

Ash stepped down onto the walkway and eyed the three girls who were jump roping while chanting the creepy melody.

"Five, Six,"  
"grab your crucifix"

Ash: What the Hell?

He walked up to them.

Ash: You kids get outta here! Go on, get home! it's not safe here!

The girls paid him no mind and did not seem to see or hear him.

"Seven, Eight, gonna stay up late."

There was a scream. Ash turned around and saw Caroline being grabbed and being pulled into the house by Freddy Krueger.

Ash: Carrie!

The Door to the house was shut. Ash ran towards it.

Ash: Krueger, get your claws offa her!

Something that felt vaguely like like jumprope wrapped around his thorax. His hands grabbed at his throat as he struggled to breathe.

"Nine, ten, Never Sleep again."

Ash's eyes peered over to see two of the girls holding the jump rose. The third, the previous Jump roper, was standing there with green eyes, rotted skin and sharp teeth.

"Lit-tle Ash-ley Wil-liams"  
"Lit-tle Ash-ley Wil-iams"  
"We're gonna getcha"  
"We're gonna getcha"

Suddenly, the third Girl lunged at Ash and leaped onto his shoulders, trying to claw and bite him with a mouth leaking black blood. Ash was able to get his one hand around the rope to loosen it.

"What's wrong, Ashley? Aren't you gonna save us? You're a hero, Ashley."

Her rotted hands grabbed his head and he screamed in pain.

"You're the chosen one, aren't cha?"

The tip of the jump rope, which appeared rotted, rose up. A tint of red and green stripes was at the tip of the jump rope.

"Well I don't want to be saved. I wanna Swallow your soul!"

Ash looked down to see there was now a snake around his neck. The creature rose it head up to him and he grabbed it to hold it back. It appeared to be shedding fro ma green and red striped 's face had several cuts and burns of exposed skin. It spoke with Krueger's voice.

"Itssss A Sssshame...kidsss today, huh? they don't resssspect their elderssss..."

Ash pulled the snake off from around his neck and it fell to the floor. He tried to step on it but it moved quickly into shadow. The green skinned girls surrounded him. Ash rose his broomstick and fired, taking off the head of one of the girls, and exposing her lower jaw. Ash swung his chainsaw upward and cut another one in half. the third and final was stabbed in the chest. Red blood spattered out.

"We Live! We Live!"

She screamed. Ash brought up his chainsaw upward and cut her in half down the middle. Freddy's voice echoed.

Freddy: But maybe they'll respect their dead elderssss a little more. Let'ssss find out. Ash turned and grabbed the lunging Freddy snake, holding it back and hurling it into a wall.

Ash: Little girls shouldn't play with snakes.

Ash: Everyone know how the story of the serpent and the garden of Eden turned out. But this time you can keep the promises and the apple.

He raised his gun and blew the head off of the snakes, splattering blood everywhere. Ash blew out the smoke from this gun.

Ash: Don't need 'em as long as I have the Boomstick.

He spun it.

Elsewhere Jason Voorhees walked through the snow until strangely it disappeared beneath his feet, replaced with a bright sunny day and the warm sidewalk. Jason continued to walk, holding his machete towards his intended target.

In Elm Street, Freddy's clawed glove held Caroline's chin.

Freddy: Well well Well, what have we here? My, My, My, Sweet cherry pie.

Freddy's snakelike tongue emerged. He seemed to have grown extra mouths on his cheeks.

Freddy: I'm so glad you saved that cherry for me, Carrie.

His long Snakelike tongue licked her cheek, covering it in green slime.

Freddy: I can tie a knot in a pumpkin stem with this bad boy. Wait till you see what I can do to you with it.

Caroline: Get off me, you sick bastard!

He slapped her.

Freddy: You wanna play with the bad boys but aren't willing to suck a little prune face. Just a little retail clerk tease aren't cha?

Caroline still held onto the book tightly with both hands, making it difficult to pry off of her.

Freddy: Now give me my book, bitch, before I rip your guts out through your ass!

Jason crashed through the door, sending pieces of wooded crashing down. Freddy turned around.

Freddy:You again?

He stumbled forwards and grabbed Freddy.

Freddy: What makes you think you can touch me? I'm not your damned wet nurse, you brainless Hillbilly freak.

A large beam of wood burst out of the floor, striking Jason in the chin and knocking him back.

Freddy: I'm a god now! This is my world! Bitch! And I don't need you and your rotted brain anymore!

He held his hand together as if he was about to clap them. His fingers were a long as his gloved claws. Beams of Wood shot out and slammed into Jason.

Freddy: Ohhh! I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head.

More burst out, surrounding Jason and trapping him, surrounding him with pillars.

Freddy: They used to call me a home wrecker. Guess now you know why, huh?

One of the Pillars impaled Jason. He held the beam.

Ash ran into the room through the opening Jason had made.

Ash: read the passages while they're beating the shit out of each other.

Caroline began reading.

Caroline: here it is. Klattu!

Jason looked over.

Caroline: Verata! Nice!

Jason swung his hand and knocked the book out out Caroline's grip.

Ash:Grab it!

Ash charged. Jason was still restrained. He put the Boomstick directly below Jason's chin.

Ash: All right, slap shot. You like Hockey, huh Well it's time for a face off!

He fired, blowing apart Jason's mask, and also burning of Jason's skin, exposing his teeth and skull. Jason's mask landed on the wooden floor, the bottom was burned off.

Jason's face was dark black, like that of a corpse. His mouth and nose were now missing.

Ash:Damn, you're one ugly mother...

He swung his chainsaw, cutting off Jason's arm. Ash looked over to Carrie.

Ash: Carrie!

Carrie: Got it!

She had the book.

Ash: Now get outta here and read the passages!

He held up his chainsaw towards Jason.

Ash: Open the portal and send these Bastards back to Hell!

Jason: Ch-Ch-Ch Ha-Ha-Ha.

Jason used his one remaining good to life his machete and stab it handle first into the bloody stump that was once his arm.

Ash: Nice. I guess it's true what they say. There are no original ideas left.

Just outside the nearest window. Ash could see the three girls playing jump rope as if they had reset.

Freddy: if you're done dancing with your boyfriend, Jason, we have a little unfinished business here.

Jason tried to stab Ash but he dodged the attempt by going to Jason's right. Jason swung his remaining arm out. Ash was sent flying out the window, crashing through the glass. Ash was down for the count. Jason approached Freddy with the intent to kill. Freddy raised his arms and brought the entire house down on both of them.


	6. Chapter 6

There was a high pitched noise in the air. Caroline was at Ash's side.

Caroline: Wake up, Ash! Please!

She was holding his head up.

Caroline: Ash, I need you. I can't do this on my own. Please wake up.

Ash's eyes snapped open.

Tears were going down her face.

Beside them were two silver painted pieces of metal. Hands began to emerge from the metal as if from fabric, as if covered in slime. One of the hand made out the form of Krueger's glove.

Caroline:getup!getup!getup!

The metal morphed into Krueger's face which appeared between the two arms. It began to laugh with strong "HA HA HA HA HA".

then there was an explosion as the glass exploded. Caroline screamed and shielded her face from the shards sent everywhere. the smoke gave way to the silhouette of Freddy, his newly formed long demonic ears accompanying his frame. There was still smoke in the air when Freddy's red mouths, the only thing not I shadow became visible. The three gaping holes on each side of his cheeks, each with sharp fangs.

Freddy: GIVE ME MY BOOK!

His deep voice sounded like a bellow.

Caroline took off running with the book. As far she could passed the forest. She ran towards an open ice field and to several wooden sheds scattered about. In the air was faint sound of "One. Two. Freddy's coming for you."

The now very Red Krueger walked and stopped before the three structures.

Caroline sat huddled in a wooden corner.

He outstretched his clawed hand. One of the Sheds exploded.

He pointed towards another one and it exploded.

Caroline sat clutching the Necronomicon.

Caroline: It's not real...It's not real...It's not real...

She had little time to react before the walls and the roof of the shed shot upward, exposing her to the cold.

Freddy stood not too far away with his clawed hand curled.

Freddy: Gotcha Bitch!

Caroline looked up. The shed was coming down. She ran and the wooden pieces came crashing down, splintering apart.

Freddy outstretched his hand.

Freddy: I'll take that.

The Necronomicon shot out of Caroline's grip.

In a blink Freddy was close with the book in his hand. He raised his hand into the air.

Freddy: Hate to get blood on it.

He was about to bring it down and finish her off when an arm grand his wrist. He turned to look.

Freddy:What!?

Jason was soaked in blood and missing a mouth.

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ha-Ha-Ha".

Freddy's rage became apparent. He opened his mouth as he spoke and a golden flame like a furnace emerged. As if he was firing a beam of fire.

Freddy: Why won't you die!?"

As he spoke, the roar seemed to cause ground beneath Jason to shatter like ice. He fell downward into freezing water, letting go of Freddy's gloved wrist. The Dream killer stood with arms outstretched he then turned back to see Caroline running a good distance away. He resumed walking. A Hand shot out and grabbed his ankle, pulling him down. Jason's hockey mask emerged, covered in ice and soaked in water. Freddy was pulled downward into the hole. He tried to stop himself but his clawed fingers scratched the ice ad he was dragged. Jason opened his mouth in what seemed a roar and lunged forward, biting Freddy's leg. He roared in pain and tried to struggle and strike to break free but with no success. Jason reached to the machete embedded in the stub of his other arm and pulled it out. He swung it down and it was embedded in Freddy's skull. The head was cleaved in half. Freddy yelled in pain, escaping Jason's grip and the machete. Freddy's head as in two pieces. He grabbed at them and brought them both together.

Freddy: You're giving me a Splitting Headache!

He opened his mouth and a geyser of blood shot out as Jason. The undead killer had stood up but the strength of several riot firehoses forcing even him back as he was drenched in blood.

Finally the geyser stopped and Freddy wiped blood from his mouth with his glove, it was not nearly close to all of it as his shirt and the space down his chin, neck and sweater were now stained red.

Freddy: Scuse me.

He opened his mouth again this time a blue beam emerged, like a strong wind, hitting Jason. He was then Frozen in white frost.

Freddy: Alright you hillbilly. You're going for a ride!

He opened the book and flipped through it.

Freddy: There's a passage in here that will send you to one hell of a place.

With his claws he went through and then began to read, failing to notice the growing light and the roaring sound coming from behind him.

Freddy: Klattu! Verata! Nickt-

And then a yellow car smashed into him. He became embedded into the front. The Necronomicon went flying out of his grip. Ash was driving. Freddy clang onto the hood, looking up to see Ash.

Freddy: You again?!

Ash: Sorry Hash brown, I only go down on one thing and it sure ain't shit like you.

Freddy tried to climb closer. Ash pressed the brake and the Springwood slasher went flying with a yell. Has stepped out, shutting the car door.

Freddy: Oohhh! You think that hurts? Well I got some bad news for you, dreamer boy.

He walked forward to Freddy. Still picking himself up.

Ash: I'm a thirty five year old clock puncher at a department store. My life has been one horror show after another thanks to the Necronomicon and the Deadites. I've had to dismember friends and lovers while they scream and beg for me to stop. All to stop this book from destroying the world. You might think that whatever pain transformed you into the creature you are now was the worst thing you've ever felt.

Ash raised his broomstick and shot Freddy in the face. It went through his face and blew a hole into the tree behind him. He fell back leaning on the tree.

Ash: You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Ash raised the end and struck Freddy's head with it. He then gave it a backhand with his metal hand. Freddy slowly rose up. Ash spun his gun up and shot Freddy in the groin. He let out a yell. Then he seemed to stop. there was a strange noise and it took a moment for Ash to realize Freddy was laughing.

The Hell are you smiling at.

Ash turned around. His face changed.

Ash: oh.

He then quickly with a look of surprised leaped out of the way of Jason slamming down his fists. Ash was now on the ground.

Ash: Heh...Close one. But the Old Williams luck is still...

The Ice he was on cracked and he fell into the cold water.

Freddy was now back up.

Freddy: I'm glad you're back. That guy talks way too much.

Jason plunged his machete into the stub of his arm.

Freddy: Well, are you gonna prance around here or are we gonna dance?

Jason swung his machete stub. Freddy moved back and the blade cut only sweater.

Freddy: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Swing and a Miss! Didn't you're bitch mother ever tell you to play ball!?

He swung a the air, and sliced a gash across Jason's neck, blood pooled out.

Unseen by the two Ash's metal hand punched a hole through the ice. It went back under. there was nothing for a moment before a roaring chainsaw burst out of the hole. Ash pulled his own torso up.

Ash: (Cough)...(cough)...(Cough)...All right...(Cough) who wants...(cough) some?

He looked up to see Several Freddy's grabbing at Jason, who swung the Machete stub, with one diagonal strike the three Freddy's were cut in half. With only one remaining.

Freddy: Oh my god! You killed Freddy!

Jason only stood there.

Freddy: Enough screwing around. It's time to...

Ash: Hey, Limp Dicks!

Jason was shot in the chest. Leaving only a gaping hole. From inside the hole, Ash stood with his gun raised.

Ash:...Come get some.

Wasting no effort he ran and grabbed his Chainsaw and sliced across Freddy's chest. Jason with his one remaining arm swung a punch. Ash turned around in time to be hit by it, but his chainsaw took the full force of the punch. He was Brought to the ground from where he shouted.

Ash:Carrie! The Book!

Carrie held the book in her hands and was going through it.

Ash: Send these bastards to Hell!

Ash got up and kicked Jason in the groin. He then Yelled in pain, grabbing his own foot in agony. Jason's hand grabbed him by the from of the shirt.

Ash:oh...

Jason threw him at Freddy.

Ash: Shit!

Freddy raised an arm and a fire like aura appeared between then. Ash's face slammed into the forcefield like construct like it was glass. Ash spoke while he was still smushed.

Ash: Carrie! Now would be a good time to...

Carrie: Klattu, Verata, Nikto!

The wind stopped and it fell strangely silent. Freddy faxed at him.

Freddy: What did you do!?

The snow blowing the the air began to float in one spot behind Freddy's head .It became a spiral and he turned to look confused. Then it burst forward into a blue vortex that engulfed the entire area in light. Freddy lunged forward, holding his arms outward.

Freddy: Nooooo!

Ash and Caroline held onto the large trunk of a tree. They were also being dragged in towards the spiral.

Caroline: Ash! I can't hold on. It's pulling me in!

Ash: Don't let go! You just have to hang on for a few more...

His eyes widened. A figure was walking towards them unfazed by the air.

"Ch-Ch-Ch Ha Ha Ha"

Ash: Oh no...

Ash reached while still clinging on to pul the string of his now attached Chainsaw hand.

Ash: Come on, come on! Start, Damn it!

The Necronomicon flew out of her hand.

Caroline: The Book!

Jason raised his machete arm and prepared to swing down before the yellow care came crashing into him, blowing in the wind. Both the vehicle and its target crashed down into the ice, sinking under the water.

The book went flying. Freddy her out his hand.

He did not catch it.

Instead it was caught by a white hand.

The Cenobite held up the book.

Freddy: No! I need that!

He began to turn the pages casually and then began to speak in a bizarre unholy deep language.

Freddy held his hand out!

Freddy: I need that Book!

Pinhead: BUT IT DOES NOT NEED YOU.

Freddy was pulled back into the vortex with a roar of anger until he vanished.

Pinhead turned to face the two remaining humans.

Pinhead: OUR BUSINESS IS NOT CONCLUDED. RETURN TO WHERE IT ALL BEGAN,

And with that he was gone. Ash and Caroline could only stand there.

 _I came to Crystal Lake by coincidence-or so I thought.  
_  
Ash and Caroline looked at each other and then they kissed.

 _But it wasn't a random transfer or a punishment for destroying the original S-Mart location that brought here._

 _It was fate._

Ash was placing his belongings into his blue van.

Caroline: Is it really over, Ash? Are Freddy and Jason Finally gone for good?

Ash was now making his way to the driver's seat.

Ash: I don't know, baby. The Deadites seem to keep coming back no matter what I do. I'm destined to save the world from the terrors of the Deadites. The Chosen One who would track down the Necronomicon and stop ancient monsters from entering our world and plaguing the living.

He sat down and adjusted both his shades and the rear view mirror.

Ash: There's only one thing I know for sure. It's over...For now.

And he drew off.

It was a beautiful day and the sun shined down on the snow.

 _I didn't realize at first that the Necronomicon itself was changing reality to bring me here. I think it was actually afraid of what Freddy would do with the Kandarian power squirreled away in its bloody pages. Or that Demon guy was pulling the strings. No doubt the book and the bastard hoped I'd be killed in the crossfire.  
_  
 _But in the end, the monsters and the books are gone. Freddy to the dread dimension of the Deadites, the evil Dead. Serves em right.  
_  
 _That leaves just me, the boom stick, and the hot chick. It's not exactly a fairy tale ending...but it's good enough for me.  
_  
 _After all...It's good to be King.  
_  
 **Elsewhere.**  
The Cenobite stood in the snow. Speaking to someone like him elsewhere.

Pinhead: SOON... I REGRET I CANNOT RESCUE YOU MYSELF. THE POWER OF THE OLD ONES PROTECT YOUR CAPTORS BUT REST ASSURED. THE CHOSEN ONE WILL AID IN YOUR RELEASE.

 **Near a Cabin in the Woods  
**  
Ash's van drove through familiar woods with dead trees now covered in snow. Finally he came to a familiar wooden cabin. He had to be cautious, ever since the deaths of his friend the area was now quarantined with trespassers being shot on sight by insane hillbillies. Ash was still worried about this but assume he'd be given a warning shot across his face before anything happened. He got out and walked through the snow towards the cabin.

 **The End**


End file.
